Three Saints And A Baby
by Saint Sinner
Summary: Taking place well after the events of the second movie, and after smecker helps them escape from the hoag, this short story chapter 1 shows what happens on their first 'funded and organized' hit.


The dust settled as all three men stood in the center of the room, smoking guns outstretched, empty casings littered the floor. The walls riddled with bulletholes and spattered with blood, the three men admired their work as they eyed the dead mobsters all around the room.

"Just like fuckin' roaches, no many how you kill, they always come back." said one of the men in a thick irish accent as he wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his black coat.

"Aye Murph, got to flush em down the fuckin bowl." said the second man, also speaking with a heavy irish accent.

"You mean sink... you know, down the drain." emphasized the third man in a hispanic flair.

"Hey fuck you, thats spiders! I'm talking roaches!" said the second man.

"Connor... can we please just get back to these dead motherfuckers? Stop dickin around with Romeo!" exclaimed Murphy as he thrusted his silenced desert eagle toward a dead mobster on the bloody couch.

"We can leave the mix an' matchin shit to Doc, lets just finish what we came here to do!" Connor said with a slight irritation behind his accent. The two Irish men began to position the bodies and place pennies in their eyes,

"Hey! Hey, you hear that?" cautioned Romeo.

Connor let out an exasperated sigh.

"what now Rome...? Hmm?" Murphy asked a bit frustrated.

"It sounds... well, it sounds... well..." Romeo tripped over his sentence.

"Fuckin spit it out!" Connor snapped.

"Aye I hear it too..." Murphy said motioning everyone to get quiet.  
All three men slowly followed the faint siren-like noise to a door leading into a back room.

"Hey, Rome, open the door." Connor ordered. Romeo gave him a dirty look and took a defiant stance.

"Hey, why do I got to open the fuckin door? You open the fuckin door!" Romeo said slightly angered, anticipating another racial dilema.

"You fuckin heard the noise first! You open the fuckin door!" Connor snapped at Romeo.  
Connor and Romeo continued to bicker back and forth about who should open the door.  
Murphy pushed through the two arguing men and opened the door.

"well... that settles that." Connor said trying to have the last word. The two Irish men entered the room.

"Damn straight 'that settles that', I could've fuckin..." Romeo muttered to himself indistinctly.

"ROMEO!" both men shouted. The mexican man startled and quickly followed them into the room. The trio of shooters stood bewildered at the sight in front of them. They all leaned in towards it quizzically.

"Its..." Murphy started.

"A freakin..." Connor continued.

"baby!" Romeo exclaimed.

"Well what the fuck is it doing?" asked Murphy as he scratched his head with the silencer on his gun.

"Its crying you dumbfuck!" Connor said at Murphy.

"Well no shit its fuckin crying! But why...?" Murphy replied. They all stared at the small infant bawling in the crib.

"Well... considering we used silencers, and we really got the drop on the fuckers, there wasn't any loud guns or anything... maybe he's hungry?" Romeo shrugged. Again all three puzzled men looked at the infant. Murphy casually walked out of the room tapping his leg with his gun. Afew seconds later Murphy comes back to the room and reports, "All they got in the fridge is several beers and a pizza...".

"Well go get it a fuckin beer!" Romeo ordered.

"You cant feed a baby alcoholic beverages!" Murphy complained.

"Exactly! I mean... look at Murphy..." Connor said trying to hold back a laugh.

"AYE! FUCK YOU MAN!" Murphy yelled.

"Tipsy toddler grew up a few cards short!" Connor laughed.

"Don't fuckin push me!" Murphy pointed a threatening finger at his brother.

"I think Ma put a wee bit too much in your sippie cups!" Connor cackled.  
Murphy threw a hesitant punch at connor who fell awkwardly backwards, and finally hitting the floor.

"Aye you bastard!" Connor yelled. The two men tackled each other, wrestling around the floor, making quite a spectacle of themselves.  
The incessant crying ceased...  
Instead it was replaced with an amused giggle.

"hey... HEY!" Romeo shouted trying to get their attention. The brothers paused and looked at Romeo.

"I think he thinks you're funny..." Romeo chuckled. The two brothers stood up, dusted themselves off, and walked over to the crib.

"Aye he does look kinda cute..." Connor said while nursing his jaw. Murphy grinned and threw another punch at Connor. He stumbled back again falling into an endtable.  
The baby fell back giggling hysterically.

"Hey he really likes it!" Murphy said excitedly.

"hey man if you punch me, im not takin that shit, we arent the fuckin three stooges!" Romeo said anxiously.  
The two brothers stared at the nervous mexican man.  
Mischievous thoughts flew through their heads...  
hmm...


End file.
